A guide to Scottishness

Following on from a conversation I had with a fellow Scot living in England the other day, I thought I should clear a few things up for those of you English folk who are not educated in the ways of us 'blue skinned rain merchants of the north' (thanks to Luke for that title):

1/Language
It is a common misconception that us Scots say 'och aye the noo'. We have never, and will never use that phrase in everyday conversation. We regularly say 'Och' and 'aye' as two separate words; which are basically the equivalent of 'oh' and 'yes'. 'The noo' is only used in certain parts of Scotland. It is common to hear in central Scotland, in the less privileged parts of society. Basically it's a chav way of saying 'now'. So 'och aye the noo' roughly translates as 'oh yes now'. Sex noises spring to mind, no? Any grey haired scotsman with a kilt looking at you with a cheeky smile and saying this is perving on you.

Also, accents do vary drastically across Scotland To the untrained English ear, it may sound "the same". That's like your parents claiming that Pantera sounded "the same" as Green Day when you were younger. They never thought that. They were just too obnoxious to listen to either band and admit there was a difference.

Aberdonians speak Doric, e.g. "Fit like" and "Foos yer doos." Glasgwegian speak Weeg, e.g. "Get it up ye" and "d'ya waant a burst mooth?". And let's not start on the Hebrideans.

2/Food
Yes, sometimes we eat deep fried goods. But no more than the rest of Britain. There are a lot more chippies (fish and chip shops) in Sheffield than there are in Perth, and I've seen more deep fried fish eating here than I ever have in my home town. I once ate the Scottish delicacy deep fried mars bar about ten years ago, and still haven't quite recovered from the shock.

And Haggis IS a real animal. Fact. Proof: http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/

3/Scotland does not need England. When Scotland had independence they were perfectly happy, and neither the Scots nor the English particularly wanted a union. The Scots are on the whole content with their own government, with SNP in power and Alex Salmond as leader. Compare: Labour and Gordon Brown. Plus, need I say it, we have the oil. Plus we invented everything:



This does not mean I necessarily back Scottish Independence. I'm just disagreeing with the Sassenachs who claim we can't live without England. I like England, hence the fact I now live here. Both my parents are (largely) English. However I have found some fairly backwards views about our bonnie country since moving down here, and I hope this clears a few of them up.